Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
