theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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