my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
