who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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