oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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