he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
