Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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