dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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