Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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