is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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