I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He shit in the fireplace
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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