Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just want nice things and good sex
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
