Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
