Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
