Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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