i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
