I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
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