i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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