Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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