An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
