We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
