I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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