you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
