Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
