I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
