Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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