I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
