She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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