My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
