remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
