My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
