Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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