fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
