At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
