He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
