I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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