We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
