Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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