Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
