I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
