Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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