I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
