i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
