I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
