Me. At least after what I've been through.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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