im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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