why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
