come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
