sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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