Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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