he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
