I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
