Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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