Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
