hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
