Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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