Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
