You can't motorboat a personality
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
A+ Viking dick
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
